My friends I have a story of the man that’s in the middle
His self esteem is shattered, his confidence quite brittle
He starts with disadvantages that would make Kojak’s hair turn grey
And ends up down in Croker keeping angry mobs at bay
He’s born of questionable heritage, he never knew his Da
And some quite unscrupulous compliments have been levelled at his Ma
Of course we know he’s colour blind which is worse than it might seem
The only colour that he sees is the shirt of the other team
A further complication which is difficult to hide……….
Although he sees through both eyes, he can only see one side
He has trouble with his learning, he never knows the rules
And he thinks that we can’t spot it ‘cause we’re 50,000 fools
A very serious character flaw when the game is very tight……..
He doesn’t get that booing means he hasn’t got it right
And what about his fitness, what message does it send?
When one of ours gets a punch, he’s down the other end
I’m absolutely certain that the poor aul hoor is deaf………
He never hears us when we shout “did ye not see that foul there ref?”
Seems he never learnt to tell the time, another fatal flaw
He’ll play an extra twenty minutes just to get the draw
But he ploughs on regardless and thinks that he’s adored
Then he’s carried off and hidden in the boot of his old Ford
