It’s the strangest little Country for a celebrity such as I

Who prays for anonymity, far from the hue and cry

As I tweeted on the twitter #bitteriswhatyisare

The way you make it hard for me to be Ireland’s greatest football star

I even bought yis rakes ‘a pints in the Euros way back when

And as I posted up on facebook, no receipts I got for them

But the thing that has me rattled is incurring all your wrath

For singin’ an aul ditty in the privacy of The Bath


As I said to Larry Mullen “the price is far too high”

“For what?” says he “the tickets?”

“No, the fame for us” says I

As I tweeted on the twitter #titterifyiscan

But don’t forget who brought the peace to the war that was Saipan

I even got yis Giovanni Trap with Manuella the great translator

And when she couldn’t translate for Robbie Keane, half a yis tried to date her

But the thing that has me really rocked is hell’s fury that yis hath

Now I’m washin’ me dirty linen in the sanctity of The Bath


As I said to DiCapriano “don’t let this pass us by”

“But fame” says he ”is fickle and then ye bleedin die”

As I tweeted on me twitter #LeoandmeJohn

The boss of Irish football

Numero Uno

Yes, the Don

I even got yis a double act (don’t ever say I’m tardy)

It’s not my fault that once again that act is Laurel and Hardy

But the thing that really floored me is incurring so much wrath

Now I’m plugging all the media leeks that started in The Bath


As I said to Paulie Gasgoine “the aul pressure’d make ye cry”

“But” says he “if it’s on youtube, the few bob’ll get ye by”

So I tweeted on me twitter #CelebrityforanAd

On top of the aul 350k, the odd nixer wouldn’t be bad

I even bought a Copeland suit in case I got the call

But the only offer that I got was a Panto in the Naul

And the thing that’s left me ragin’ and them incurring all me wrath

Is playin “Count Fernuttin” for three weeks in an aul bath