There once was a fella called Van

To his devotees, Van was the man

But if you’re lookin’ for banter

You should take off at a canter

For Bono’s yappin’ (as only he can)


Aul Ivan has written great tunes

About lovin’ and livin’ he croons

But if ye go to his show

At ninety Euros a go

All ye get is a face like stewed prunes


Then Ivan is straight out the door

While the crowd is left shouting for more

Like a greyhound on the gun

He shoots back up the M1

Yis can sing what yis want for the encore