DUFFER:   Would ye not tell him yourself Paval?

BEANZIE:  Would he not tell me what himself?

DUFFER:   He’s sayin’ that from today he has to charge ye extra for Hot Chocolate with water cause of the Water Charges.

BEANZIE:  Extra! Extra!

He is in his Arsene Wenger chargin’ me any more for me drink. I’m a contientious objector to these water charges and I’ll tell ye one thing, Insomnia wouldn’t charge ye for water and that’s where I’ll be goin’ if this mularkey continues.

DUFFER:   What are ye objectin’ ta? Somebody has to pay for the water.

BEANZIE:  See this is where I despair with you. Ye never see the big picture. What did our fathers die for?

DUFFER:   My aul lad is up in Sybil Hill with the nuns lookin’ after him so he’s not dead yet.

BEANZIE:  Well my aul fella then.

DUFFER:   Beanzie, with all due respect, and you told me this many times, Wally Flynn might ‘a died ‘a many things but water wasn’t one ‘a them.

BEANZIE:  Our metaphorical Fathers is what I’m talkin’ about. D’ya think when Pearce went into the GPO in 1916 that he was thinkin’ 100 years later our own government would be chargin’ us for water. He’d be turnin’ in his grave ‘now.

DUFFER:   Or floatin’……

BEANZIE:  D’ya think, O’Neill, O’Donnell or Robert Emmet or Wolfe Tone thought that when they fought for freedom that their people would end up payin’ for water?

They did in their swiss.

DUFFER:       Look Beanzie times have moved on. The infrastructure is worn out and they have to replace it. I’m okay with payin’ a reasonable charge.

BEANZIE:  There was always a whiff ‘a the turncoat off your family. Youse obviously took the soup otherwise you’d be O’Duffy.

DUFFER:   Well your family were obviously fond ‘a the Campbells too cause you’re Flynn.

BEANZIE:  Ye see that’s where you’re wrong O’Duffer.  My family name is O’Flynn but the Christian Brothers in Artane shortened it to Flynn ‘cause there was two of us in the class and then it just stuck. Hence the reason that I wouldn’t accept water charges and you would.

DUFFER:   Whatever you say Beanzie but I’ll tell ye one thing, it’s not cheap to set up. I was readin’ in the paper that IBM got 45 million for consultancy. That’s a lot a dosh.

BEANZIE:  Consultancy? D’ya know what consultancy is? Tellin’ fellas who do the actual work how to do what they know how to do anyway.  45 million? Sure the bleedin’ water is there already.

Consultancy……..I suppose they told them that it was a great idea to put in meters. They shoulda just asked the boss in the ESB an’ he’d a told them.  How do we bill them?  I know, let’s ask the ESB and they’ll tell ye.

So what the consultant does is act as the middle man as if he’s tellin’ the seventh great secret of Fatima and all the time he’s just askin’ the fella in the ESB what to do and chargin’ 45 million for it.

DUFFER:   So are you goin’ to pay for the Water?

BEANZIE:  No I’ll go up to Clare Hall and give my business to Insomnia.

DUFFER:   No, I mean when they send ye a bill through the door from Irish Water.

BEANZIE:  Nah. I got one ‘a them yokes that switches the meter off and we’re going to pretend Bernie’s mother just lives in the house on her own.

DUFFER:   The spirit of the great Irish Rebels is alive and well in Raheny wha?