BEANZIE:  Tell him I want three squirts ‘a the chocolate sauce. There’s no taste if ye don’t get three squirts.

DUFFER:   Three squirts Paval.

Sorry wha?

He says he always gives ye three squirts.

BEANZIE:  No he doesn’t. Why would I be askin’ for three ‘squirts if he was givin’ me three squirts. He’s only lickin’ up to that new manager wan who’s bullin’ cause I get my Hot Chocolate cheaper cause there’s no milk in it.

DUFFER:   What’s that got to do with three squirts?

BEANZIE:  Ye see this is where they’re tryin’ to get me. Anneka gave me the Hot Chocolate for 2.50 seein’ as I don’t take milk so I have insisted Starbucks worldwide honour that deal and some ‘a them don’t like it.

DUFFER:   What d’ya mean Starbucks worldwide?

BEANZIE:  Well the one in Malahide……and the one in the Pavillions. The one in the Airport when we were goin’ to the match, they wouldn’t honour it but that was probably a currency issue.

DUFFER:   He called Security on ye.

BEANZIE:  Well all I said when he said they never serve hot chocolate with water was that it goes down a bomb in Dublin.

DUFFER:   Ye can’t say bomb anything in an airport. Once they hear bomb they throw the kitchen sink at ye. It was lucky your man’s boss was a Dub so he was able to explain what ye meant.

BEANZIE:  Well it woulda been hard for me with me face stuck to the floor tiles.

That Dublin fella was strange all the same. When I asked him what Club man he was,  he hadn’t a clue what I was talkin’ about. Then he said St Georges. I never heard ‘a them unless they’re a junior club.

DUFFER:   No Beanzie I don’t think he was a big fan of the GAA more of the GAY.

BEANZIE:  Well what was he goin’ about then?

DUFFER:   He was takin’ the piss when he said ‘St Georges’ he meant ‘The George’.

BEANZIE:  Why can’t people just be straightforward?

Donal Og Cusack came out as gay and nobody said a word so why didn’t that fella just say what club he was in. I don’t give a damn about his sexuality.

DUFFER:   I think the point is that some people have other interests outside the GAA.

BEANZIE:  Gareth Thomas the rugby player, he came out, nobody is bothered and he’s famous.

That lad at the Airport should talk to someone like that. It’s all fine these days.

No soccer players have come out but they’re slaggin’ bastards, not like us.

DUFFER:   D’ya know what I love about ‘comin’ out’ for coffee with you?


DUFFER:   Me neither.