DUFFER:   No Paval, It’s “get up the yard, ye smell ‘a Benjy’ ……not Beanzie.

Ah right

BEANZIE:  What did he say?

DUFFER:   He said he knows what it is.

BEANZIE:  Oh does he now……….

He’d be better off learnin’ how to make his Mocha, Choca Locca’s properly and not be joinin’ in with the Naomh Barrog crowd takin’ the piss outa me.

Is there no Starbucks in Kilbarrack?  Comin’ up here and slaggin’ me.

It’s the same with the Cedars. Them lads pass the Foxhound to come upta the Cedars. There’s a reason that it’s called a local.

DUFFER:   But we’re probably farther away from the Cedars then them lads.

BEANZIE:  Ya see this is where I despair ‘a you.

We live in Raheny, them lads live in Kilbarrack so technically any Pub in the Parish of Raheny is open to us as a local. It doesn’t matter about distance. It’s about where you’re from. It’s the same with Cafes. Ye need to have a local. This is our local even if you did sell out for the corporate dollar.

DUFFER:   So where should them lads go for coffee, Kay’s Kitchen?

BEANZIE:  No you’re not gettin’ it. That would be for the wider Donaghmede, Donahies area.

I’d say somewhere like Kilbarrack Shoppin’ Centre.

DUFFER:   I have ye on this one now. What about when we go to the matches and we drink in Meaghars?

BEANZIE:  That’s completely different.

When we go to a match as Dublin Supporters we become temporary citizens of Ballybough. Meaghars is in Ballybough therefore it becomes our defacto local for the day of the match. When all the revelry is over we return to our own local.

Job done.

DUFFER:   You’re startin’ to sound a bit elitist to me. Anyone can drink in any pub.

BEANZIE:  Yes they can but every man has to have a local. There has to be a place that ye can walk to, go in, sit on the same stool and your pint just appears without any need for communication between you and the Barman. It’s a sense of place. Ye can’t be parachutin’ fellas in from all over the place.

DUFFER:   Unless you’re the Kildare team wha?

BEANZIE:  Exactly and that’s what nearly destroyed the GAA. Every man needs to have a place and be part of that place. The last fella they parachuted into Kildare had nothing but a Christy Moore CD goin’ for him.

DUFFER:   Here, don’t forget your football if ye want to go to work.

BEANZIE:  So the rule of locals is that they are in the Parish, they are in walkin’ distance, the Barman knows ye and ye don’t need to ask for a drink.

DUFFER:   And ye need to be as contrary as bejaysus……

BEANZIE:  What?

DUFFER:   It’s the thing in this country that’ll save us.

BEANZIE:  Now ye have it.