DUFFER: Two pints please Eamon while we can still afford them.
Ask him wha?
BEANZIE: Ask me wha?
DUFFER: He was just sayin’ that you once said you’d never follow the pint once it got to a pound.
BEANZIE: Well five Euros is probably the same as the old Punt.
DUFFER: It is in its arse.
You’ve threatened to give up the gargle since Richie Ryan put two pence on the pint in 1974.
BEANZIE: They were dark days Duffer, dark days. The three day week, the women and children goin’ hungry and the men havin’ ta cut down on the jar.
DUFFER: Well you never went hungry anyways, you’d half ‘a Batchelors stored in the two bedrooms. Sure ye were even sellin’ it over in the Green Dolphin.
BEANZIE: That was damaged stock.
DUFFER: Yeah, you were damaging it.
BEANZIE: I was providin’ a public service.
DUFFER: The manager in H Williams didn’t see the altruism in what ye were doin’. Sure he was goin’ to rat on ye to yer bosses.
BEANZIE: Well I brought him for a drink to discuss it. We went to the Sheiling and I introduced him to all my Republican mates who were there on the run. I told the lads that he was goin’ to rat me out to the authorities. ‘Rat’ wasn’t a word they were fond of. Yer man legged it out of there big style…..got a transfer to Killester.
It destroyed me profit margin though, I had to buy them drinks all night for lookin’ menancing and give them a few packages a soup to boot.
DUFFER: Mary was in Killester pickin’ up a few messages after that. She saw yer man and asked him d’ya ever go into the Dolphin anymore or see Beanzie and the lads. Yer man legged it so fast he fell inta the Halloween display. Pumpkin everywhere.
BEANZIE: Smokes are an even tenner now after the budget. I’m ok though, I oney smoke when I drink.
DUFFER: ……which is every day.
BEANZIE: Ye see this targetin’ of the smokin’ man is a plan by the Government to take away his last few pleasures so that they can keep him in line.
DUFFER: What are ye on about?
BEANZIE: Well they tried it on the drinkin’ man and we railed against them. That’s why I never stopped drinkin’ ‘cause the Government wanted me to and put up the prices to stop me but I stuck to me guns. The smokin’ man needs to do the same. It may take a bit of sacrifice…..ye know….the odd weekend away or a holiday lost but it’s worth it in the end.
Duffer: Are you tellin’ me that the only reason that you never gave up the drink was to put one over on the Government?
BEANZIE: That’s exactly what I’m sayin’. And, I have it on good authority that the Government owns that Herdinger non alcoholic stuff you drink. That’s what they want us to drink. Keep us in line. No way Jose. Power to the people.
DUFFER: Seein’ as you cross the line of both camps you should rally the smokers.
BEANZIE: Your true smoker would oney see me as a blow in. They need one ‘a their own to take a stand like I did with the drink. That way we will succeed in stoppin’ their plan.
DUFFER: Jaysus Beanzie, I was goin’ to ask yer opinion about the Universal Social Charge but me and Mary are goin’ down the country next week an I have to get home to pack.
BEANZIE: Eamon two more pints for the true revolutionaries.